He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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