All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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