Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
