Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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