This girl is more easily done than said...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
