garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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