New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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