Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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