But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
did i walk over a car last night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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