its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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