Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize