I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
