When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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