I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
