Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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