he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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