Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
