I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
