What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
