Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize