we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
