...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
