just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
