threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
After tacos, we're chasing women.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
