We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
