Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize