Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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