You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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