This is not my ceiling
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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