Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
