Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
