Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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