I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
