I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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