can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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