is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
