I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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