so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
