I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
