i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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