She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she pinky promised me she was 18
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
