Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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