Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I did not marry a roomba.
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