I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
