Yo dont text me then not text me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
