In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
