Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
