Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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