Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize