five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
