Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
