I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
this boner is exhausting
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
