Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
