I feel like abortions should bother me more
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
