True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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